I kept thinking very long about what to write to fill my blog, But then I dig topics from my life. This one is not about feelings or emotions. Its about the people who go about giving a piece of their mind unasked for Free Of Cost (FOC)
Advice!!! Everyone has an opinion about the other person’s life. Some seem to have better judgment over the person himself. What is right and what is wrong is purely a subjective perception, in reality it never occurs to people that two human beings are different.
Right!! Now the story!
Some people are so passionate about giving free tips for (supposedly) reckless drivers.
Last week I was riding my bike in a very congested market place in my area. Normally I assess my driving in situations like these and I was pretty content about how I got my way out despite the traffic. There came a middle aged uncle with his daughter behind in a scooter riding as slow as he could. No problems with that, keeping in mind the narrow path in which each one of us tried to fight our way out. Since there were people walking to my left I had to be careful not to hit anyone ;) I had to slightly turn right since the pedestrian crowd grew in number. Mind you, I turned may be an inch.
I heard a voice, but I didn’t turn back.
Traffic was still there and it was slowly clearing. Someone driving beside me said “Left la cut panna theriyanum” in a commanding tone.
I completely ignored it, used to the regular phenomenon of people’s comments on the road. I drove ahead since the traffic cleared to some extent.
“Vandi otta therinja mattum podadu ma, paathu ottanum” I heard the voice again. I was getting irritated now. I looked to see the gentleman, and it was that uncle in the scooter.
I spontaneously blurted out “Thanks uncle, thanks a lot” in a clearly harsh tone.
To my shock he literally stopped his scooter abruptly before me that I had to stop as well. I was clueless about what was happening. There was traffic building up behind me. People looked with curiosity at me, its is always fun to watch someone fight on the road, no matter how late its getting.
He said “en ma, paathu po nu dana sonnen? Sonna kovam mattum varudu?"
What the hell, I am not the one who would listen to someone’s words and be silent when I haven’t done a thing wrong.
I was half surprised and half furious about him that I replied back,
“ungala enna na idichena? Edukku theva ellama pesareenga?”
Clearly not expecting me to give him a reply he said,
“appo idicha dan sollanuma? Ungalukkulam advice panna pidikkade!! Ozunga ottanum nu dana solrom”. I don’t know if it can be called Concern for me, as he had a daughter himself. He seemed to me more like the men who purposefully give free lessons about driving as a principle. He was determined to make me regret for what I said.
I replied him sharply, “Ok uncle. Adha naan paathukaren. Naan epdi ottanum nu kathukaren. Neenga kelambunga!” and started off without another glance.
I could see the girl clearly embarrassed about the whole incident. I felt pity for her.
The point is, all these men prefer girls as their targets and not a guy. The scene would have been if there was a guy. There are two possibilities. Either he would have asked the person to shut up and mind his business. Or, the guy would have kicked off from the place in the maximum possible speed right in front of the person who dared to advise.
Perhaps to avoid the insult, girls are preferred to offer free driving lessons relying on their listening skills.
Narrating the whole incident is not to make people reading feel that am an arrogant girl repulsive to advices or that I drive badly (which is not true ;))!! I do take genuine advice from genuine human beings. I have silently taken driving lessons from anonymous men about switching off the headlight before turning off the bike, not to use the sidestand and stuff. (I am unsure about these terms when it comes to bikes. It serves my purpose of taking me places and that’s all I am aware of.)
It tests my patience to listen to some third person, on the road, when I have done nothing wrong, just because I am a girl! Generally we don’t speak out, ignore such comments and turn a deaf ear, not to hurt anyone. Though not always!! I don’t entertain this for a person who goes about advising for the sake of it!
I am thankful to all those who offer these little suggestions to girls specifically. Honestly, we are better off without them.
For others, Thanks and keep up the good work.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
The Art of "Appreciating"
“Hey! You look really good today” is one comment that we love to hear over and over again. One way to touch a woman’s deepest emotion and evoke a smile in what-so-ever situation or mood is to heartily appreciate her looks. I am completely ignorant about how it works with men though. Men never crave for it as a women does, except from the woman he loves.
Its important for women to be appreciated, identified, studied, discussed. Yes, she needs all the attention in every way possible from her loved ones in all aspects of her life. Looks and beauty have that extra craving for obvious reasons.
It feels lovely being at the receiving end. Have we ever wondered how it is like to be on the other side? Well, if you are one of them, who find it really hard appreciating someone, admit it. Its not an easy job to do.
Appreciating a fellow human being is one of the hardest tasks. Its one of the “Universal feelings” that I have already referred to. Time for self-introspection. When did you last appreciate a person’s work whole heartedly? This person should not be your Friend!
The question is, how often have we even made an attempt to praise some one’s work?
Its not that we don’t want to, we simply are not used to it. Very few of us think of specific ways to make others happy. Appreciating is definitely not on a women’s list! We see men do that a lot naturally. You know why?
The general conviction goes like this,
When a guy comments on the looks of a girl, he tries to impress her.
When a girl comments on the looks of another girl, she is putting herself down, admitting that “You surely look better than me, and I am jealous!”
Sounds stupid? This is exactly what runs into a girl’s mind. There’s another version of it.
The girl might indeed be beautiful and subject to raving compliments already. Appreciating her? “Oh no!! Her head is already weighing more than it should be, I don’t want to add to her burden!”
There’s one more version. The “Instant Absurdity” strikes. When someone does genuinely compliment us, we tend to blush and say, “Thank you. Why, you look great too”!
Craziest thing to do. By doing so you are only making the person feel embarrassed. Many choose the indirect way. “Hmmm, kalakkara po” in a sarcastic tone. This only leaves the other person guessing what you are trying to convey.
We hardly sit back and think all these minute things, but it makes a lot of difference in Life.
Everyone wants to be liked, more importantly, to know that. Expressing and sharing feelings adds on to the strength of a relationship. Most of all, it makes someone Happy! Makes them feel important. Speak out the fact, tell people what you like about them, appreciate their good work and see for yourself the change in you.
Its important for women to be appreciated, identified, studied, discussed. Yes, she needs all the attention in every way possible from her loved ones in all aspects of her life. Looks and beauty have that extra craving for obvious reasons.
It feels lovely being at the receiving end. Have we ever wondered how it is like to be on the other side? Well, if you are one of them, who find it really hard appreciating someone, admit it. Its not an easy job to do.
Appreciating a fellow human being is one of the hardest tasks. Its one of the “Universal feelings” that I have already referred to. Time for self-introspection. When did you last appreciate a person’s work whole heartedly? This person should not be your Friend!
The question is, how often have we even made an attempt to praise some one’s work?
Its not that we don’t want to, we simply are not used to it. Very few of us think of specific ways to make others happy. Appreciating is definitely not on a women’s list! We see men do that a lot naturally. You know why?
The general conviction goes like this,
When a guy comments on the looks of a girl, he tries to impress her.
When a girl comments on the looks of another girl, she is putting herself down, admitting that “You surely look better than me, and I am jealous!”
Sounds stupid? This is exactly what runs into a girl’s mind. There’s another version of it.
The girl might indeed be beautiful and subject to raving compliments already. Appreciating her? “Oh no!! Her head is already weighing more than it should be, I don’t want to add to her burden!”
There’s one more version. The “Instant Absurdity” strikes. When someone does genuinely compliment us, we tend to blush and say, “Thank you. Why, you look great too”!
Craziest thing to do. By doing so you are only making the person feel embarrassed. Many choose the indirect way. “Hmmm, kalakkara po” in a sarcastic tone. This only leaves the other person guessing what you are trying to convey.
We hardly sit back and think all these minute things, but it makes a lot of difference in Life.
Everyone wants to be liked, more importantly, to know that. Expressing and sharing feelings adds on to the strength of a relationship. Most of all, it makes someone Happy! Makes them feel important. Speak out the fact, tell people what you like about them, appreciate their good work and see for yourself the change in you.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
My Mornings!!
It’s the best time of the day!! Filled with positive energy and hopes. Travel in the morning has always been an absolute delight for me. Specially, when I know the rest of the people are still sleeping, missing this moment of joy!!
I am so very associated with this morning traveling in all stages of my life. It took me some time to get used to Morning-meaning-4 Am fact.
I am not one of those who get up early in the morning JUST to download a movie!! Man, how do you guys do it?
Nor have I ever got up for walking/ playing badminton stuff. Those come under “Plans that never got executed” List. Mind you, it’s a big list.
I am leaving studies out of this. That is for the reader’s interpretation.
So it has always been for not-so-happy reasons like school, classes and work.
I know its difficult to get up early, but the moment we step out of home, all we feel is “Its worth it!!” Something about the fresh air, cool breeze, empty streets, barking dogs (Now that shouldn’t be in the list), make life seem beautiful.
All that you need to make a half hour travel in train/bus pleasant:
1. Jannal ora seat, which everyone as a child craves and fights with their siblings even the day before. We can never cal those fights silly even as grown ups, can we?
2. An I pod/Mobile to listen to songs. Now, I prefer a Mobile only to keep you guessing about what the next song will be. You never know, a series of your favorite songs may pave way for a wonderful beginning of the day!
3. Not so annoying/sleeping/staring co-passengers.
4. Always carry change in case of traveling in a bus. Once you have given a hundred rupee note to get a 4 rupees ticket, half hour will pass looking for/at the conductor pleadingly, expectantly, angrily to get back the change.
5. Plan your day. All the nice things to be done. In life too.
Apart from all the fun, it also enlightens us on a lot of things. There are people sleeping on the streets, pavements and railway stations, waking up to the horn sounds. Not to the mobile alarms or mom’s pooja bells or dad’s yells.
We are all blessed and fortunate. Make the best out of it!!
Early Morning travel is an experience!! Cherish it!!
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